If looks could kill

So vanity.... ..... . . . . . uh :/

I don't how to say it without making it seem for attention because it's not! Just an expression of how I feel which is ugly. I hate picture taking, it seems like false advertising. For one thing I just feel so blah lately. I don't feel much to dress up like I used to or put any effort to how I look. Perhaps short hair has made me feel a bit boyish :(. I like looking girly and wearing make up, dresses, cute shoes, hair bands, ridiculous rings, and necklaces. OH and can't forget my odd hair clips which consist of feathers, flowers, or bows :D. The fact of the matter is that I AM that girl you glance at during class just to see what I wear or how the eff (or not) did I pull off an odd outfit. Maybe my height holds an attribute to people glancing at me as well. I won't lie I am peculiar to look at, but it makes me that more self concious of me. I am just excrutiatingly shy as well :( and stutter god do I stutter. I am just to weirded out on what people may notice. :/! Tis why I stay away from people and is the first to run out the classroom once class is over. Hahaha, I SHOULD stop doing that, which I kind of am :) but anyways back to vanity.

What is this power that hold over society, into which we must discern each other with lustful or tasteful eyes? Judgement is still the same as before, but could it be we are just more strict to which our standards of beauty are as well? I am not one to blame the media, never! Rather blame society for which we are responsible to our thoughts. Why do we cast the not so attractive into another realm of our world. Damn our social stratification! We help out the "beautiful" people and tell the "ugly" to piss off. Another way our society fails. Also let me sneak into the fat vs skinny argument. Really? We weigh attractiveness with every pound that they don't have? This is why many people suffer from eating problems and body image. Ridiculing others for their weight. People don't come in standard size, if we did then how boring. We should be accepting of everyone regardless of weight and looks. We should more weigh people's personalities. The "beautiful" people tend to be the worst! I rather be plain and nice thank you very much :D if thats the case. Now if you excuse me I shall finish hearing taken by trees :] check them out ~Marina