oh joy

I have no idea what to write. Actually I have no urge to write. Perhaps a new blog? Blogspot seems a bit a dead but perhaps it might be my blog who is dead.

a past time

a quiet breeze and small waves
no reflection in the water

sailing away happy and free
sail away and remember to come back.

sup bitches

its been a while! I kinnnnda want a tumblr, but knowing me i'll abandon it. I hate jumping on the bandwagon, not because I want to be ~unique~ but because I feel i'm to late on it. I'm the late guest to the already drunken party. -_- I think i'll focus on my dailybooth then.

It's pretty sad

Stupid people keep talking and making shit up. Well with no life what do you expect?

Eh not worth my time nor more then two sentences.

ANYWAYS. School is starting, LAST YEAR woot woot! I'm excited to start :] and thus makes me happy.

Fake blues

Sitting here at 2am reading the jolly anthro book whose bitch I became, I have realized there are far better things to do. I'm going to also say a truth, I am so self indulged in my own concerns and life that I push off people at times. I don't think I have put much thought to anything twice. Why should I? I'm sure those people have a life of their own, or so I hope. I probably say random shit too and they probably didn't catch it. I mean its not hard to figure out if you're not doing anything then it gives you time to think. Those thoughts become your rules, laws, and higher authority of how to control your life, but just don't. Now don't overthrow your common sense along with those overzealous thoughts. I think perhaps that's what helps me cope with the shitty moments and shitty people in my life. I perhaps gave an ounce of thought and later forget about it. Coping mechanism? Yeah you can say that. Sad insults don't do much to me anymore, quite actually nothing. For me personally it's a blank expression of childish and stupidity. Am I guilty of it ? You bet your sweet ass. The only difference is that I don't spread it around and constantly remind others that i'm "tough" ohhh how cute. I'm not even here to tell or dictate how people live their lives. I could really not care (unless you are putting your life in danger) other then that why should *I* shove my ideals or opinions on you? If anything do what you want, in the end if its working for you then kudos, but if you see a terrible ending result then that there is a problem amigo. Now what is the point of this blog? Well it's boring and felt a need to update this blog.

shoplifters of the world unite

Without trying to sound cliche, but listening to the smiths enforces my persona of a love stricken teenager. Except I am neither a teenager nor in love. I am more in love with being in love if that makes sense. That being said, I can't really make that part of affection work. Troubling it may seem. I am a bit silent about my love life and it can be that love or affection towards anyone is ridiculously humilating, in the sense that its to public for others to see. I don't chase people and I would think no one chases me, at least in my perspective. I just brush off any flirtatious comment or affection from anyone. I recede back into my shell and ignore the people who do like me haha, for that I am sorry. I do feel bad, but I would feel even worse in a relationship. In a relationship I feel trapped? Its pretty foreign and what is terrible about me is that I try to manipulate it. I like to push people to their limits. In the end when they loose interest I gain interest. I KNOW I have issues -_-, but I do believe I revaluated my faults and with some outside help, I worked on it and feel better about relationships. Am i ready again? maybe. I really don't feel urge to go out an look for a guy. I kinda like to ease into things and take my time. If that means being single for a long long time then so be it! Haha I survived before so I will survive again.

I will, however, say I gain alot of crushes on guys ^__^ I'm still a girl ya know! I just don't like-like them. People always think crushes means you like and want to be with them ehhh no. Crushes (according to me) is just thinking the person is neat and cute :] and they sort of become your fav person to talk to or hang out with. In a way you look forward to seeing them! Doesn't mean you want to be with them. Haha they are however potential and you are just interested, not into them. uhh Do you guys get what I mean? Yea that's me haha, I have such oodd crushes too. Ohhhhh well, just makes talking to people that much more fun. :D
~Marina

River Card

:( a boring sunday.

Oh hi again

Protested thursday! hahah obviously that isn't me! But a teacher who got laid off because of these cuts. So people don't be afraid to get out there and say NO and refuse to be put down. This is our country, our laws, and our lives. Time we took control of it. Our education is a RIGHT not privilege. That day was amazing and am glad we made a statement that because we are students does not mean we don't have voice. Serving in student government has taught me that we need to get more involved. That the majority of people don't take action until its to late! Get involved!

If looks could kill

So vanity.... ..... . . . . . uh :/

I don't how to say it without making it seem for attention because it's not! Just an expression of how I feel which is ugly. I hate picture taking, it seems like false advertising. For one thing I just feel so blah lately. I don't feel much to dress up like I used to or put any effort to how I look. Perhaps short hair has made me feel a bit boyish :(. I like looking girly and wearing make up, dresses, cute shoes, hair bands, ridiculous rings, and necklaces. OH and can't forget my odd hair clips which consist of feathers, flowers, or bows :D. The fact of the matter is that I AM that girl you glance at during class just to see what I wear or how the eff (or not) did I pull off an odd outfit. Maybe my height holds an attribute to people glancing at me as well. I won't lie I am peculiar to look at, but it makes me that more self concious of me. I am just excrutiatingly shy as well :( and stutter god do I stutter. I am just to weirded out on what people may notice. :/! Tis why I stay away from people and is the first to run out the classroom once class is over. Hahaha, I SHOULD stop doing that, which I kind of am :) but anyways back to vanity.

What is this power that hold over society, into which we must discern each other with lustful or tasteful eyes? Judgement is still the same as before, but could it be we are just more strict to which our standards of beauty are as well? I am not one to blame the media, never! Rather blame society for which we are responsible to our thoughts. Why do we cast the not so attractive into another realm of our world. Damn our social stratification! We help out the "beautiful" people and tell the "ugly" to piss off. Another way our society fails. Also let me sneak into the fat vs skinny argument. Really? We weigh attractiveness with every pound that they don't have? This is why many people suffer from eating problems and body image. Ridiculing others for their weight. People don't come in standard size, if we did then how boring. We should be accepting of everyone regardless of weight and looks. We should more weigh people's personalities. The "beautiful" people tend to be the worst! I rather be plain and nice thank you very much :D if thats the case. Now if you excuse me I shall finish hearing taken by trees :] check them out ~Marina

lykke li

This woman is basically my muse

Knocked up

well might as well get this started.


I am currently under harsh STRICT rule: No spending money D:
which might I add is sheer torture, no more clothes, expensive outings, friviously wasting money on random unneccessary items. Yeah...its going to be hard. SO far my total saving - $650.
yay! My goal is $4000. I gave my mom my debit card to fight off temptation and so far so good. So I suppose i'll keep this blog as a daily reminder to save every penny I get. That car shall be mine oh yes it shall be mine. Just waiting on my taxes too >:O which might I add has not come yet, even though I mailed it more than a month ago. booooooo!

Oh man, so this is a kicker. Usually i'm hush hush about the uhh "intimate" stuff, but i'll let those read my blog know that indeed i'm celibate :D. I know I don't have much of a history and i'm fine with that, actually happy with that. There are just to many risks and i have alot going on in my life. Also I want to enter a relationship where sex is not the only thing keeping it together. Ugh. I'm going to try to practice celibacy for a good time. Any guy who does not respect that obviously does not respect me. I'm laughing at my decision too don't worry. I just really want to do this for myself. If I find the right person who I love then i'll let nature take its course, other then that uhh no.

Entering 3rd week of school: ahh already?? I like my classes though especially swim :D i'll keep you updated on school too :D (ugh I wrote out all my classes but html made it disappear >:( )i'll write it next week :D until then i'm good, i'm gone ~Marina

Hidaway

I lost my old blog.. ah no importance, mainly just rubbish of music and random incidents throughout my day. Sadly this will not be different.