Without trying to sound cliche, but listening to the smiths enforces my persona of a love stricken teenager. Except I am neither a teenager nor in love. I am more in love with being in love if that makes sense. That being said, I can't really make that part of affection work. Troubling it may seem. I am a bit silent about my love life and it can be that love or affection towards anyone is ridiculously humilating, in the sense that its to public for others to see. I don't chase people and I would think no one chases me, at least in my perspective. I just brush off any flirtatious comment or affection from anyone. I recede back into my shell and ignore the people who do like me haha, for that I am sorry. I do feel bad, but I would feel even worse in a relationship. In a relationship I feel trapped? Its pretty foreign and what is terrible about me is that I try to manipulate it. I like to push people to their limits. In the end when they loose interest I gain interest. I KNOW I have issues -_-, but I do believe I revaluated my faults and with some outside help, I worked on it and feel better about relationships. Am i ready again? maybe. I really don't feel urge to go out an look for a guy. I kinda like to ease into things and take my time. If that means being single for a long long time then so be it! Haha I survived before so I will survive again.
I will, however, say I gain alot of crushes on guys ^__^ I'm still a girl ya know! I just don't like-like them. People always think crushes means you like and want to be with them ehhh no. Crushes (according to me) is just thinking the person is neat and cute :] and they sort of become your fav person to talk to or hang out with. In a way you look forward to seeing them! Doesn't mean you want to be with them. Haha they are however potential and you are just interested, not into them. uhh Do you guys get what I mean? Yea that's me haha, I have such oodd crushes too. Ohhhhh well, just makes talking to people that much more fun. :D
~Marina
Friday, March 12, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Oh hi again
Protested thursday! hahah obviously that isn't me! But a teacher who got laid off because of these cuts. So people don't be afraid to get out there and say NO and refuse to be put down. This is our country, our laws, and our lives. Time we took control of it. Our education is a RIGHT not privilege. That day was amazing and am glad we made a statement that because we are students does not mean we don't have voice. Serving in student government has taught me that we need to get more involved. That the majority of people don't take action until its to late! Get involved!
If looks could kill
So vanity.... ..... . . . . . uh :/
I don't how to say it without making it seem for attention because it's not! Just an expression of how I feel which is ugly. I hate picture taking, it seems like false advertising. For one thing I just feel so blah lately. I don't feel much to dress up like I used to or put any effort to how I look. Perhaps short hair has made me feel a bit boyish :(. I like looking girly and wearing make up, dresses, cute shoes, hair bands, ridiculous rings, and necklaces. OH and can't forget my odd hair clips which consist of feathers, flowers, or bows :D. The fact of the matter is that I AM that girl you glance at during class just to see what I wear or how the eff (or not) did I pull off an odd outfit. Maybe my height holds an attribute to people glancing at me as well. I won't lie I am peculiar to look at, but it makes me that more self concious of me. I am just excrutiatingly shy as well :( and stutter god do I stutter. I am just to weirded out on what people may notice. :/! Tis why I stay away from people and is the first to run out the classroom once class is over. Hahaha, I SHOULD stop doing that, which I kind of am :) but anyways back to vanity.
What is this power that hold over society, into which we must discern each other with lustful or tasteful eyes? Judgement is still the same as before, but could it be we are just more strict to which our standards of beauty are as well? I am not one to blame the media, never! Rather blame society for which we are responsible to our thoughts. Why do we cast the not so attractive into another realm of our world. Damn our social stratification! We help out the "beautiful" people and tell the "ugly" to piss off. Another way our society fails. Also let me sneak into the fat vs skinny argument. Really? We weigh attractiveness with every pound that they don't have? This is why many people suffer from eating problems and body image. Ridiculing others for their weight. People don't come in standard size, if we did then how boring. We should be accepting of everyone regardless of weight and looks. We should more weigh people's personalities. The "beautiful" people tend to be the worst! I rather be plain and nice thank you very much :D if thats the case. Now if you excuse me I shall finish hearing taken by trees :] check them out ~Marina
I don't how to say it without making it seem for attention because it's not! Just an expression of how I feel which is ugly. I hate picture taking, it seems like false advertising. For one thing I just feel so blah lately. I don't feel much to dress up like I used to or put any effort to how I look. Perhaps short hair has made me feel a bit boyish :(. I like looking girly and wearing make up, dresses, cute shoes, hair bands, ridiculous rings, and necklaces. OH and can't forget my odd hair clips which consist of feathers, flowers, or bows :D. The fact of the matter is that I AM that girl you glance at during class just to see what I wear or how the eff (or not) did I pull off an odd outfit. Maybe my height holds an attribute to people glancing at me as well. I won't lie I am peculiar to look at, but it makes me that more self concious of me. I am just excrutiatingly shy as well :( and stutter god do I stutter. I am just to weirded out on what people may notice. :/! Tis why I stay away from people and is the first to run out the classroom once class is over. Hahaha, I SHOULD stop doing that, which I kind of am :) but anyways back to vanity.
What is this power that hold over society, into which we must discern each other with lustful or tasteful eyes? Judgement is still the same as before, but could it be we are just more strict to which our standards of beauty are as well? I am not one to blame the media, never! Rather blame society for which we are responsible to our thoughts. Why do we cast the not so attractive into another realm of our world. Damn our social stratification! We help out the "beautiful" people and tell the "ugly" to piss off. Another way our society fails. Also let me sneak into the fat vs skinny argument. Really? We weigh attractiveness with every pound that they don't have? This is why many people suffer from eating problems and body image. Ridiculing others for their weight. People don't come in standard size, if we did then how boring. We should be accepting of everyone regardless of weight and looks. We should more weigh people's personalities. The "beautiful" people tend to be the worst! I rather be plain and nice thank you very much :D if thats the case. Now if you excuse me I shall finish hearing taken by trees :] check them out ~Marina
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