oh joy

I have no idea what to write. Actually I have no urge to write. Perhaps a new blog? Blogspot seems a bit a dead but perhaps it might be my blog who is dead.

a past time

a quiet breeze and small waves
no reflection in the water

sailing away happy and free
sail away and remember to come back.

sup bitches

its been a while! I kinnnnda want a tumblr, but knowing me i'll abandon it. I hate jumping on the bandwagon, not because I want to be ~unique~ but because I feel i'm to late on it. I'm the late guest to the already drunken party. -_- I think i'll focus on my dailybooth then.

It's pretty sad

Stupid people keep talking and making shit up. Well with no life what do you expect?

Eh not worth my time nor more then two sentences.

ANYWAYS. School is starting, LAST YEAR woot woot! I'm excited to start :] and thus makes me happy.

Fake blues

Sitting here at 2am reading the jolly anthro book whose bitch I became, I have realized there are far better things to do. I'm going to also say a truth, I am so self indulged in my own concerns and life that I push off people at times. I don't think I have put much thought to anything twice. Why should I? I'm sure those people have a life of their own, or so I hope. I probably say random shit too and they probably didn't catch it. I mean its not hard to figure out if you're not doing anything then it gives you time to think. Those thoughts become your rules, laws, and higher authority of how to control your life, but just don't. Now don't overthrow your common sense along with those overzealous thoughts. I think perhaps that's what helps me cope with the shitty moments and shitty people in my life. I perhaps gave an ounce of thought and later forget about it. Coping mechanism? Yeah you can say that. Sad insults don't do much to me anymore, quite actually nothing. For me personally it's a blank expression of childish and stupidity. Am I guilty of it ? You bet your sweet ass. The only difference is that I don't spread it around and constantly remind others that i'm "tough" ohhh how cute. I'm not even here to tell or dictate how people live their lives. I could really not care (unless you are putting your life in danger) other then that why should *I* shove my ideals or opinions on you? If anything do what you want, in the end if its working for you then kudos, but if you see a terrible ending result then that there is a problem amigo. Now what is the point of this blog? Well it's boring and felt a need to update this blog.

shoplifters of the world unite

Without trying to sound cliche, but listening to the smiths enforces my persona of a love stricken teenager. Except I am neither a teenager nor in love. I am more in love with being in love if that makes sense. That being said, I can't really make that part of affection work. Troubling it may seem. I am a bit silent about my love life and it can be that love or affection towards anyone is ridiculously humilating, in the sense that its to public for others to see. I don't chase people and I would think no one chases me, at least in my perspective. I just brush off any flirtatious comment or affection from anyone. I recede back into my shell and ignore the people who do like me haha, for that I am sorry. I do feel bad, but I would feel even worse in a relationship. In a relationship I feel trapped? Its pretty foreign and what is terrible about me is that I try to manipulate it. I like to push people to their limits. In the end when they loose interest I gain interest. I KNOW I have issues -_-, but I do believe I revaluated my faults and with some outside help, I worked on it and feel better about relationships. Am i ready again? maybe. I really don't feel urge to go out an look for a guy. I kinda like to ease into things and take my time. If that means being single for a long long time then so be it! Haha I survived before so I will survive again.

I will, however, say I gain alot of crushes on guys ^__^ I'm still a girl ya know! I just don't like-like them. People always think crushes means you like and want to be with them ehhh no. Crushes (according to me) is just thinking the person is neat and cute :] and they sort of become your fav person to talk to or hang out with. In a way you look forward to seeing them! Doesn't mean you want to be with them. Haha they are however potential and you are just interested, not into them. uhh Do you guys get what I mean? Yea that's me haha, I have such oodd crushes too. Ohhhhh well, just makes talking to people that much more fun. :D
~Marina

River Card

:( a boring sunday.